Album of the month: Alexandru Andries Nimic Nu Iese-Asa Cum Vrei

Problem: I like the idea of being some kind of patriotic champion of Romanian culture. In theory. The sad fact is that each month, after listening to the selection of Romanian CDs that I’ve been sent, I feel like stapling my ears shut forever. Praise the Lord, then, for Alexandru Andries’ latest album. All the time I was listening to it, I couldn’t shake off the idea that I was listening to the Romanian version of Paul McCarney. The resemblances are all there: both have a knack for writing music full of surprising, jazz-inspired chord changes but of a subtle naivety that you can’t help but love it. I also think he’s got one of the most instantly lovable voices I’ve ever heard. His whole approach can be seen in the song “La Carturesi”. The track starts off like some kind of Jazz-Funk monster of which James Brown might have been proud. Then he starts singing: “Ma gasesti / La Carturesi / Rafturile pline / cu povesti”. As if that weren’t enough to tell you that he’s having a bit of fun with you, there then comes a beautiful little piano bridge which is EXACTLY the kind of thing that McCarney would have inserted: it’s as though he’s saying “Jazz-Funk? Yep. I can do that too.” And he does. The overall effect of the album is just wonderful: touching at the right moments, full of surprises, and most importantly, very funny. I almost didn’t have time to review the rest of the CDs this month: I spent most of my time listening to this. Bravo to the power of ten.

Cristina Rus: O Noua Viata

Pivotal moments in the history of music: 1966: Dylan goes electric. 1975: first concert by the Sex Pistols. 1988: Acid House explodes during the “Second Summer of Love”. 1994 Kurt Cobain commits suicide. 2006: Cristina Rus launches solo career with her stunning solo album entitled “O Noua Viata”. Ha ha ha! Sorry. Making fun out of Cristina Rus is a bit like shooting fish in a barrel, so instead of acting like such a clever-clogs, I should really try to find constructive things to say about her new release. After all, the poor girl has obviously put her heart and soul into it. Let’s cut straight to the chase and look at what everybody really wants to know: is it better than the output of her ex-Blondy colleague, Andrea Banica? Andrea got off to a faster start in the charts, keeping the Blondy name and scoring a surprisingly likeable hit with that song that went “A la la la lei, Lo-eee-oh-ee-oh.” One point to Banica! How does Rus’ new offering shape up? Well, the album isn’t anything to write home about. However, it does include a photo of her sat on a table, next to a Bonzi tree, with a mobile phone and not one, but TWO laptops next to her. What is she meant to be doing? Playing Counter Strike, against herself? It’s all rather surreal, and made me laugh for a good five minutes, so I suppose we should give her a point too. A tie – one point each for the ex-Blondys! I suggest we resolve this musical rivalry once and for all with a good old fashioned fist fight. Let the real battle commence!

Regina Spektor: Begin to Hope

Things you should know about Regina Spektor: she did a song with the Strokes! Yes, The Strokes! Ten points immediately! (Cristina Rus, take note. Have you thought about performing a song with The Strokes? Do it, fast, before Banica gets there first!) She quotes Fitzgerald, Hemmingway and Woolfe in her songs! She grew up in Russia but hangs out in New York ! All very interesting, but what you really need to know is that her latest album, Begin to Hope, is nothing less than stunning. Really. These aren’t really songs, they’re short stories set to music, often accompanied by the haunting sound of her piano. If you want to get technical, she comes under the genre of “Anti-Folk”, which is basically folk music made with a slightly more punk attitude. Don’t let that put you off, though: this is amazing, unforgettable Sunday morning music. Buy.

Rihanna: A Girl Like Me

Rihanna, pronounced REE-Ana. Signs at 16 to the rather cool label Def Jam (five points). Has a magnificent hit with the song SOS, which samples the synth-pop hit Tainted Love (another five points). Releases album with a fair share of reggae tracks on the album, alongside more unapologetically saccharine tracks like “Unfaithful”, thus managing to appeal to both teenage girls and club DJs (another ten points). Performs alongside the infuriatingly ubiquitous Sean Paul on one of the tracks (what a mistake! Loose fifteen points! Back to zero!)

Prince: Ultimate

You don’t need me to tell you that Prince is absolutely nuts. Let’s just mention one of his more ‘odd’ moments: he once released an LP under the alter-ego of a female hermaphrodite. Nice. However, you might not be aware that his music also seems to have a strange effect on people: all of the hardcore Prince fans I’ve met in my life have had fairly seriously mental illnesses (two schizophrenics, one obsessive-compulsive). I’m deadly serious.) Whether there is a causal relationship at play between mental health and the music of Prince here, is, at best, debatable. Nevertheless, ‘Better safe than sorry’, I say. For this reason I suggest that only those of you with a particularly sound physiological constitution even think of listening to this compilation of Prince hits and remixes. Be warned.

Romanian Artists Against HIV/AIDS: Love Still Runs Free

Whenever I hear the words “Pop Music” and “Charity” used together, a mortal fear courses through my body. ‘Live Aid’ is of course the ultimate example of this disastrous and rather sinister combination, with Bono being the high priest of horribly misguided charitable intentions. I was disturbed to see my theory confirmed once more with the “Love Still Runs Free compilation”, produced to raise awareness / money for children with HIV/AIDS. The issue of HIV in Romania is a serious one indeed. I suppose you could argue that any project that draws attention to the issue – or tries to raise money for it – is on the right road, if it weren’t for the fact that the whole thing smells of smug, sanctimonious Romanian pop stars eager to grab a bit of free publicity. Sorry, is that a little unfair? Oh, and another thing: just because it’s a charity project, don’t expect me to pretend that the music is any good. Hearing the “Romanian All Stars” squeeze as much emotion as is physically possible into the one-liners they each got to sing on the title track (inexplicably and rather unhelpfully written in English – aren’t these people trying to spread a message here? What’s wrong with Romanian?) was not a pleasant musical experience. Good intentions do not a good record make. Sorry.