Romanian society is changing fast – too fast for language to keep up. The Romanian Socialist Republic had words for things that no longer exist, while modern, European Romania is full of things that we don’t have words for at all. Whole classes of people have grown up that we don’t know how to describe. In a hope to leave my own mark on the development of the Romanian Language, I’ve put together a short New Romanian Dictionary for the twenty first century. These definitions are the result of a long, arduous sociological study that I’ve been carrying out over the past four years. I can only hope that these neologisms find their way into everyday usage:

Bǎi-snessman : A rude and ill-mannered businessman, probably of humble beginnings (municitor, shepherd, toilet cleaner, etc). The post-revolutionary years were kind to the Băsinessman, who was able to put his ruthless băsiness skills and entrepreneurial flair (which often involving breaking other peoples legs) into action. The Băsinessman can easily be identified by his expensive suits, his love of luxury cars and the incontrollable outpouring of expletives whenever he opens his mouth. This trait is particularly evident when talking to journalists. Despite considering himself a ‘man of the people’, he in fact venomously despises the working classes, whom he considers lazy and stupid.

Bişniţman: The juvenile Băsnessmen. Can’t afford a suit, and instead can be seen sporting an unfeasibly tight tee-shirt, with obligatory gold chain(s).

Club A-class executive: Works in a high-powered position, probably in advertising or with a mobile telephone company, and earns enough to visit the most exclusive clubs in Romania . However, instead the Club A Class Executive chooses to frequent studenty, smoky, underground bars and clubs to where they dance to 80s hits in a desperate attempt to recapture the giddying carefree spirit of his/her university life. Drives a nice car, yet secretly longs for the days spent drinking sanitary alcholol on the beach at Vama Veche. Sports unusual hair-styles (frizzy hair in the female, ponytail / long hair for the male), wears Doc Martin boots to the office, and dresses entirely in black with worrying regularity.

Frain: A strain who is also a frier. Drawn to Romania in increasing numbers after the revolution. Can be found hanging around English pups, discussing ‘The Romanian mentality’ and single-handedly solving the economic problems of a transition economy. Inexplicably has an astonishingly beautiful Romanian girlfriend, despite having a face like a chewed-up toffee.

Roppie: A Romanian Yuppie. Do you wear small, square glasses with fashionable black rims? Work as brand manager / creative director in a multinational advertising agency? Do you wear a suit that costs more than your parents earn in a year? Drive a luxury car while your dad still has a broken down Dacia 1300? Then you’re probably a Roppie. These people embody The Romanian Dream – they’re the free market in action, working as it ought. As a result of their good luck, the Roppie is astoundingly right wing. Likes to mention economist Milton Friedman in conversation and thinks that George Bush is ‘not as bad as people think he is’. (Phenomena first recognised by the www.hardisco Institute of Sociology ).

SRInvestor: easily identified by huge, unfeasibly large burta, often hidden under a brown suit jacket that was last in fashion in 1977. His business ‘contacts’, unsurprisingly, date back to almost the same period. The SRInvestitor is a charmer of women, especially female functionars in large bureaucratic institutions, whose hands are never far from his lips. Has built a villa on the edge of one of Bucharest ’s lakes, and considers himself as a patron of the arts, despite the fact that he thinks that Duchamp is a brand of jewellery. Buys unfeasibly expensive French cheeses, though his favourite food is actually michi.